Well, You Could't Make it up Could Ya!!?

This geezer,right? gets all shirty, an' 'olier than thou, wiv the old bill right? They got the word that this 'ouse, right?, right? right! suspected of containin' 'igh explosives an' that! The old bill, special branch, army old uncle Tom Cobley an' all,right? came along and spun 'is drum, right?yea, tugged 'im and 'is bruvver, called 'em terrorists and one of 'em got shot in a 'scuffle' wiv SO50 the gun squaud. Aaaanyways mate, they rips his gaff to shreds don't they? right? That house was well and truly stripped. Floorboards up, wallpaper off, inspected all the dirty knickers in the dirty, filthy knicker container.(My god. I've really got a problem!), and do yuou know what they found? Do you know what? Nuffin' Fuck all!, well, there was this big hoo har, shoutin' an' hollerin' "We want compensation! You hate us coz we're Muslims don't ya?" Well, you know wot? I think they DID hate 'em 'cause they was Arabs. In the UK England, London, The greatest city on Gods earth, Gawed save her majesty!(I'm mistin' up now.Got a lump in me throat as big as a pile of Hippo droppings!) The denizens of that there fair moe-trop-pole-is, London and the City of Westminster, Great geeza that prince charlie, 'is royal 'ighness.Naw, we don't trust 'em. The only mohammedans we ever hear of, are strapping bags of weedkiller over their tee shirts, and blowin' their selves into 8 million bits. Shards of splintered femur whooshing, like an express train, past yer 'ead, going through the heart of an innocent passer by.Blood everywhere! Like a catering size bin of tomato ketchup has been in a fire.If they weren't already dead, you'd murder 'em wouldn't ya? right! I digress.
They tooked away 'is compooter.When they looked inside it, instead of all the Bollywood flicks, bomb making instructions, and stuff about Allah, they found kiddie porn!!!! That's right! he's a bleedin' kiddie fiddler! A paedo! AND, he sell the pics on the net. Dirty bastard! Ought to castrate the fucker.Compensation? Compen-bleedin'-sation? The only way he's goin' up in the world, is if they put him on the top landing in prison! Long may he rot there! Chow marmaladers, 'till later! Max